This is a bull. This is a bull all other cows glance towards and unanimously go…damn. Bulls want to be him and cows want to be with him. Before you start hypothesizing that this bull is victim to a scientific steroid prank gone terribly wrong, you should know that many people pay good money for this cow—known as a “Belgian Blue.”

What’s so different about him?

A slight genetic modification that has produced monstrous effects.

Just looking at him I feel the necessity to be armed, should the occasion arise that I run into this beast.

What’s his secret to abnormal muscle growth?

Working out? No. Steroids? No. Disabled myostatin gene? Check.

Now you’re asking yourself, “What is this myostatin and why does it have such unusual effects?” Myostatin is a regulation gene; in this case, it regulates muscle growth, causing it to cease after a certain point. This gene is not only present in cows, but also in other mammals, including humans.

What’s Stopping Humans from Utilizing Artificial Gene Disabling?

Belgian blues are bred to maintain their disabled gene and it’s obvious that if humans were able to genetically modify the myostatin gene that many males would be lined up for days just to receive the procedure.

So, what’s the holdup?

Although the Belgian Blue might be getting laid on a continuous basis, humans are not likely to benefit from this genetic shortcut anytime in the near future. First off, eugenics is a hot topic prone to controversy. Testing and research on humans is strictly prohibited.  And, even if humans could be guinea pigs, chances are, there would be many trials gone terribly wrong. To top it off, maintaining excessive muscle growth is extremely costly.

Large amounts of muscle means excess testosterone production and although testosterone might make you reek of manliness, you’d be better off without significant amounts. Although moderate amounts of testosterone are extremely valuable as it produces your sex drive as well as the genetic soldiers who ensure your future legacy, it’s also an incredibly destructive hormone within the body, eerily similar to cortisol, the “stress” hormone.

Testosterone in reasonable quantities = good

Testosterone in abnormally high quantities = kiss your ass goodbye sooner than expected

Why Women Love Your Testosterone

Beneficial on one hand and destructive on the other, there is one common theme surrounding testosterone—women love its effects, to an extent.

Ask a male what he loves about a woman and he’ll be pretty straight-forward: a nice curvy figure, plump (expletive), and a pretty face to match. If you’re an active reader of the blog, you’ll understand that attractiveness is mathematically measureable as well. Men’s ideal waist-to-hip ratio for women stands at a consistent .7 across the boards.

Women love testosterone’s effects because it signifies that you’re a baby-making machine (just kidding).  In reality, natural selection causes humans to utilize their senses to detect subtle clues in the opposite sex that might signify genetic health. Testosterone causes distinct alterations in male physical appearance. It plays a role in muscle development as mentioned previously, but it can also alter your bone structure, vocal chords, and even your aggressiveness.

The current theory with steam behind why high-testosterone is a beneficial attribute, revolves around the costliness of maintaining high quantities of testosterone. Since testosterone is destructive in high quantities, scientists believe that males able to withstand the excess “manliness” have stronger immune systems, something absolutely critical to survival—especially in our ancestors who were under more stringent evolutionary pressures. Natural selection over time selected people with any type of sensitivity to immune system cues (something also thought to be detectable through smells via the MHC).

With women’s continuously altering cycle—where only a few days are considered “fertile days”—there is even significant evidence that women are more attracted to males displaying high testosterone levels during her fertile days than throughout the rest of her cycle.

The only way to develop artificial muscle growth—a good, old-fashioned workout; however, don’t feel obligated to take it to extremes…unless of course you find women around you disappearing towards the middle of their cycle.